Thoughts on Parashat Yitro 5875
There is no peace—said GOD—for the wicked.
(Isaiah 48:22)
Rabbi Menachem Mirski
Our Sages, particularly, the rabbis of Talmud, loved all kinds of linguistic, semantic and logical approaches to the Torah, as well as intellectual experiments in terms of uncovering its hidden meanings and messages. They played with logical principles, often reversing logical implications. As a result of that, the verse I just quoted became a base for a talmudic concept which holds that if a person has a difficulty finding inner peace, it may be a sign that this person is wicked, or at least has done something bad or wrong. Today we know that while this may be one of the possibilities, the matter is much more complicated and typically a difficulty in finding inner peace does not indicate that the person affected by it is immoral or wicked. But there is some truth in this rabbinical concept, in this rabbinic judgement and we can find still some signposts for our spiritual life in it.
As human beings, we are naturally predisposed to be generally more focused on negative emotions and all kinds of negativities that life brings. And this propensity is good, we need it to assess our life situations in order to make good decisions. Without this ability we wouldn’t stop at a red light, choose to eat healthy, or walk away from a toxic relationship. However, problems begin to arise the moment we turn our assessment into a story that creates pain, namely, when we are dramatizing our life situation, which we sometimes do completely inadvertently. Instead of living in the moment, we mentally (and sometimes verbally) write a dramatic narrative that creates, surrounds, and concretizes our pain and perpetuates the unrest we experience. This pain is negative energy or negativity that moves us further away from happiness. Further away from Truth. Further away from Love. Further away from God. In this sense, we are all born as equals. We are the same in our innate human challenge, which is our inability to see things as they are behind the veil of appearance. But it is the same negativity that starts every war, from the small argument with a brother, sister, or friend to horrible wars and genocides throughout history. All negativity comes from the same place, the same source – it crouched at the door of the first murderer – Cain. (Genesis 4:7)
And while we are all familiar with the notion of righteous indignation and we are aware that there are situations in life in which feeling angry is justified, acting upon a kind of righteous indignation needs to be peaceful, at the end of the day. Why? For pragmatic reasons, for example: negative feelings must give way to a reasonable, planned, calm action, because peaceful and thoughtful actions are simply more fruitful. Acting on anger, especially expressing it publicly, is not particularly effective in terms of making a difference in our human environment.
Rabban Shimon ben Gamaliel used to say: on three things does the world stand: On justice, on truth and on peace, as it is said: “execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates” (Zechariah 8:16). Pirkei Avot 1:18.
Every commandment of the Torah is essentially meant to bring peace and more peace to the world. I recommend looking at all the commandments from this angle when we read this week’s parasha in which the entire revelation begins. These commandments have to be implemented and we are the agents to implement them. We are responsible for implementing the teachings of the Torah in real life and at the same time we are responsible for bringing the peace that is “attached” to them. This existential pillar of the human world is in us, but we also need to be able to find internal peace in ourselves in order to share it with others and expand the rule of peace in the world. “To make peace in the world we must be at peace with ourselves” as Rabbi Jonathan Sacks famously said. Peace, as Talmud says, is the victory of the soul. But perhaps nothing reflects the power of (inner) peace more than the midrash (Bereshit Rabbah 38), which says that peace will overcome even the idolatry of the Israelites, and if that happens, if it prevails among the Israelites even at a time when they give themselves over to idolatry, God will be powerless in that situation: I cannot rule over them since peace rules among them.
So what can we do to be more efficient in acquiring inner peace? Here are some hints, coming both from Jewish tradition as well as common life experiences:
- Find a place where you can be at peace: walk in a forest, by the beach, visit a planetarium. Experiencing solitude in nature and practicing meditation help restore your proper sense of self and a proper perspective on surrounding events. Chassidic masters often recommended meditating in nature to regain equilibrium and reconnect to the Infinite. Also, when we see how vast the universe is our problems diminish, and we have a more realistic view of how frivolous or how irrelevant many of our concerns may be. This idea had a specific expression of philosophy of Baal Shem Tov, who additionally stressed that there are always deeper and higher intentions behind everything that occurs, there is always more behind the scenes, our Creator will ultimately unfold them and we will understand that it was all for good.
- Disconnect from what you experience as toxic – from a relationship or more broadly – from social media or any media, for example. Prioritize real human relationships with people you like over relationships that are superficial or not really genuine. Avoid confrontation, avoid arguing with people – these things generally don’t make things or relationships more peaceful. And yes, it’s absolutely ok to prioritize interactions with people who you know are good, peaceful, warm and positive and stay away from people who disrupt your peace, purposefully or not. You don’t have the obligation to fix those you think are wrong and disruptive to others. This obligation is primarily on them.
- Radiate peace. In Ethics of Our Fathers, Hillel tells us to be like the students of Aaron (Hakohen), loving peace and pursuing peace and loving humankind. It’s hard to pick a fight with someone who is smiling at you, talking softly and moving in a dignified manner. Speak calmly and patiently without a hint of irritation. Our attitude matters. Pretend you are portraying the most gracious and patient person on stage. When you act like this, it will eventually become a part of you.
- Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Some people can work on a gazillion projects, have a million friends, a thousand commitments, and they still thrive. But many of us can only do things one at a time with few distractions. When you start to feel stressed, reassess and either say no to something or delegate to someone else.
- Don’t be obsessed about specific results in every matter you touch. If you try to control the results of everything you do, you put yourself and other people under pressure. Trust in God. God is our GPS. He points us in the direction we need to be going, even if it’s not where we thought. Accept events and recalibrate your response. There’s a difference between persevering and pushing. Relinquish control of all but yourself!
Regularly pray and focus your attention particularly on things that are related to peace and love.
Observe Shabbat seriously, which also means to disconnect from “the global world” and its matters. Focus on your immediate reality, be there and enjoy your interactions with your loved ones. LIVE in the present, especially on Shabbat. And the last but very important – don’t forget to take good care of your body and health! If your body is anxious it will make you anxious as a whole!
Acquiring internal peace doesn’t mean that you will always feel amazing or great. This expectation needs to go because it’s ruining everything. Having internal peace mostly means being ok with the place we are in our life right now and that’s already good.
Her ways are pleasant ways,
And all her paths, peaceful.
(Proverbs 3:17)
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Mirski
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