Menachem Mirski
Thoughts on Parashat Ki Tetze
How many times have you said something in anger and then regretted saying it? How many times have you acted out of fear or prejudice and made a mistake because of that? I did it enough times to realize that neither anger nor fear helps to respond the right way to the events surrounding us, enough times to try to conquer this flawed psychological constitution. I realized the same thing by watching people who were losing it and then seeing the consequences of it: seeing them not only losing it at the moment but also losing something very important for them – losing the debate or something more serious – their relationship, job, respect in others’ eyes. Impulsiveness, of any kind, is not a particular predictor of success in life. There are situations where it may help – for example being impulsive in saying “I love you” to your beloved person may not do a harm but cause mutual affection to flourish, but in most cases impulsiveness does harm, especially if it’s tied to negative emotion.
Our parasha for this week includes the following law:
If, along the road, you chance upon a bird’s nest, in any tree or on the ground, with fledglings or eggs and the mother sitting over the fledglings or on the eggs, do not take the mother together with her young. Let the mother go, and take only the young, in order that you may fare well and have a long life. (Deut. 22:6-7)
This law, in its spirit, resembles a different and well-known law of the Torah: You shall not boil a kid in its mother’s milk (Deut 14:21, Ex. 23:19, 34:26) as well as the prohibition against slaughtering an animal and its offspring on the same day (Lev. 22:28). There is yet another law against cruelty towards animals in our Torah portion: You shall not plow with an ox and an ass together (Deut 22:10). Maimonides commented on the law about the bird’s nest as follows:
In most cases, however, this command will cause man to leave the nest untouched, because his spoils (i.e. young birds) will usually be unfit for consumption. If the Law provides such grief should not be caused to cattle and birds, how much more careful must we be that we should not cause grief to our fellowmen!
But Maimonides makes two points here. His second point, quite commonly accepted in ethics today, draws a connection between tendency to hurt animals and tendency to hurt humans. Indeed, being sensitive towards animals is an indicator of sensitivity towards other human beings and vice versa – people learn and develop their cruelty by inflicting it on weaker and defenseless living beings. But his first point is about impulsiveness: In most cases this command will cause man to leave the nest untouched, because his ‘spoils’ will usually be unfit for consumption. It describes a behavior of a person who, although being initially driven by some urge (i.e. hunger) changes his or her mind after a moment of reflection. That is yet another example that the Torah wants to fight what is wrong or evil not only through punitive measures but also, if not primarily, through preventive and positive measures – by conquering our hearts before any action happens. This has always been important but it seems particularly important in our times when we, on a daily basis, encounter forces that use the ‘divide and conquer’ strategies; even if these tactics seem to be milder than those of the greatest tyrants of the past, they still use fear, anger and prejudice to manipulate us and our choices. Therefore, we need to balance all of that with a proper, spiritual preparation. Our minds and hearts need to be set properly, filled with peace and thoughtfulness no matter what is happening, in order to not make us reactive-only to what surrounds us. It often takes some time or training to learn it but believe me – it works!
Shabbat shalom!
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