Thoughts on Parashat Shemini 5785
Our parasha for this week contains the tragic tale of Aaron’s two sons, Nadav and Avihu, who “offered a strange fire that had not been commanded.” (Lev 10:1) It all starts with what should have been a day of joy – the Israelites had completed the Mishkan, Moses had made preparations for its consecration for 7 days. But it all ends in this terrible tragedy. Our sages offer several readings of this story: some say that Nadav and Avihu had been drinking alcohol. Others maintain that they were arrogant, holding themselves up above the community; this was also the reason they had never married. Others claim they were insecure and envious in the presence of Moses and Aaron – they were saying to each other: when will these two old men die so we can lead the congregation? But there is yet another opinion that boils down to the argument that it all wouldn’t have happened if Aaron and Moses weren’t that shy in their leadership, that they should have been more decisive and firm.
The entire story, together with all subsequent reactions to what happened can be indeed read as a story about two styles of leadership, or, more precisely – two main challenges leadership as such involves, the two challenges all leaders must overcome. The first one is the reluctance to lead, often expressed in words like: Why should I get involved? Why me? Why should I take the responsibility and everything that comes with it – the stress, the hard work, and the criticisms leaders always have to face. There are other people who may be better qualified to do this work than I am, etc. Even the greatest leaders were reluctant to lead. Moses at the beginning of his journey didn’t believe he was not the man for the job. Isaiah and Jeremiah both felt inadequate. Also, even if a person initially overcomes this challenge, it’s still there, it never really goes away: it has its new expressions in some sort of shyness of leadership, for example, “Why should I address this issue?” “Yes, it bothers me but why should I speak?” “Speaking about this or that involves a risk I don’t want to take, especially right now.” This attitude is not always bad, there may be numerous situations in which that kind of attitude will be right. But it becomes a problem when it becomes a norm, when a person always chooses this attitude and never takes any risks.
The second challenge is the opposite. There are people who simply see themselves as leaders. They believe that they can do everything better, dnd while they may be right sometimes, or even most of the time, they are rarely right all the time. We all have our blindspots, and even if we think we are right, that we have a solution, or the solution to a specific problem it doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t have a better solution. That kind of over-enthusiastic, overconfident type of leadership develops typically among so called ‘backseat drivers’ – ‘backseat leaders’, who are not fully aware of what it really means to be in the front seat, what kind of responsibility it involves. In any case, over-enthusiastic, overconfident leaders can sometimes do great harm, especially if they don’t listen to the input and advice of other people, for example, other people involved in leadership.
Any leadership position requires great learning abilities, being vigilant and able to learn from every situation. People do not become leaders because they are great. They become great because they are willing to serve as leaders. At the end of the day our momentary self-perception does not matter that much – it will be corrected through learning experience. So was the case of Moses, Aaron and many other great leaders in our history. What matters is the willingness to always take responsibility, to be able to say Hineni, “Here I am”, whenever we are needed.
There is one more lesson that can be drawn from the reflection above, a more universal one, no matter if we consider ourselves leaders or not. The ‘shy attitude’ in leadership can actually inspire us: I believe that we can all do better in terms of restraint in words, which becomes particularly important now while we live in the world where we argue more and more, and sometimes just for the sake of arguing. This culture increasingly becomes more and more toxic in my opinion and it doesn’t really serve our family and social relationship. So, next time you talk to someone you haven’t talked to for a while, or someone with a completely different worldview, try not to argue or even state your own opinion. Try just to hear that person and simply learn what she or he believes in. With the increase of the ‘culture of argument’ more and more people just want to be heard, especially if they are anxious or frustrated. In cases like that just hearing the person may have a much more profound and positive effect than having a comprehensive conversation with a lot of arguments or view points. We simply don’t need them to be expressed anytime we feel like we should. Keep that in mind!
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Mirski
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